Catholic School Websites

How many angels do you know by name? Gabriel is probably the first one who comes to mind. He pops up in the Bible as God’s messenger, almost like God‘s press secretary. He announces the intentions of his master. Gabriel messages are stark and cause anxiety, or forecast a very unexpected future based on current impossibilities. Not the kind of angel you’d want to sit with if you’re having a bad day. Raphael is there as a well-known angel. He is the healer, as well as the guide

Inspections report all is well The Catholic Schools Inspection reports from the Birmingham Catholic Schools inspectors say the archdiocese is doing well with its Catholic schools. The high standards recorded in the inspection reports will impress you, apart from when a judgment required by the inspection framework is glossed over or ignored. Now and then, the sharpness of the judgment is dulled by verbiage. Occasionally, the odd slip of the pen challenges the judgement. Or yo

I specialise in how Catholic schools write their websites. That means I must also read how Catholic MAC websites perform. Spoiler alert, not very well. Many of the school website writers struggle with understanding what it means to be Catholic, or how to express it. MAC web writers have an added problem. Many of them write as if they were still in a school. They don’t realise they are writing for a different demographic. Fortunately, on the evidence available from Catholic sc

Hierarchies do not work unless you are building pyramids with slave labour, ruling Russia, managing a space launch, sending thousands of soldiers into battle to die needlessly, or running a maximum-security prison. They also shore up the camouflage of illegitimate oppression, and provide cover for sexual abuse in boarding schools, the police service and Children’s Homes. In political parties, tribal hierarchies distort the principles of democracy. Dressing one person in robes

See how many truths you can find in this fictional response to a Catholic School Inspection experience. ____________ The three boys waited until the duty teacher passed their table before continuing their conversation. ‘Does it mean we are all real holy?’ Michael, the smaller of the three, stopped pushing the mixed vegetables around his plate. ‘What makes you think that, Johnoh?’ ‘Like the head said, we passed the inspection. It was an RE inspection by some bloke from a dioce

ingParents claim they have never seen a Catholic MAC. They do not exist. A prospective parent asked a fourteen-year-old boy at a school Open Evening what did ‘MAC’ stand for. He thought for a moment – an unnerving sight to witness - before answering, “Multi-Academy Clump”. He too claimed to never having seen a MAC. Open Letter to Head of Multi-Academy Clump (MAC) Dear sir/madam/other I have just read a website that claims you now own our local Catholic schools that once tau

Eyebrows were raised when the archdiocese achieved its target of zero leadership roles being filled by ordained priests. Our reporter, Tegan Short, walked into the office of the new leader of the Birmingham Diocesan Education Service, asking for an interview. ____________ Tegan (T) Thank you for seeing me without an appointment. You are welcome. (T) You are? Mrs Connemara Cassidy. Most people call me Connie. (T) Are you in charge of the whole educational outfit for the d

Which model reflects your view of school-parent relationships? - Lord of the Manor and his servants - Rhythm beater on a slave galley - Lion keeper at the zoo - Probation service Setting the Record Straight – Letter Explaining Role of Parents St Amphibalus High School New End Upper Cookhill Dear Parents The Church says parents, the human family, are the first educators of the child. The parish in the diocese, the f

Reception class teachers, in yet another survey, complained that a sizeable number of children starting school, cannot talk, do not know how to share, don’t take turns, fail to say please and thank you and up to 30% are not potty trained. Fortunately, there was no mention of any increase in the numbers of reception class pupils stabbing each other with scissors, throwing themselves on the ground screaming to go to the park, throwing food as a sport, or mugging their peers.

Is it easier to grow tomato plants than it is to grow a Catholic in a school? In some ways the processes are similar. Both need warmth, light and nutrition. They benefit from staking to head them in the right direction. Removing pests is always beneficial. Too much light or heat is harmful, as is overfeeding. Pinching out the growing tips of the tomato plants is an activity best not replicated. Decapitation is not conducive to anything for the individual other than discoverin