Famous (Last) First Words

Spike Milligan (the comedian one) wanted as an epitaph - "Duirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" (Irish), which translates to, "I told you I was ill." There you have the Irish and English versions.

Albert Einstein’s (the scientist one, not the one selling vegetables on Stratford on Avon market) last words were, "I have done my share; it is time to go”. He didn’t do an Irish version.

I was reviewing a Multi-Academy Company website when I thought of Milligan and Einstein. My imagination was sent meandering by the opening words on the welcome page of the website I was reading.

Say what?

This is the opening statement on the welcome page of a multi-academy company's website?

"We are a Multi-Academy of over 750 members of staff, across 17 schools, all working together to shape the future of Catholic Education of more than 6000 children and young people."

Why start with statistics on your welcome page? Is that the most striking aspect of your MAC. Should you not at least hint at the unique nature of your multi-academy company?

Is it best left unsaid?

Such an opening statement is like a candidate at an interview being asked, “tell us something about yourself”. The interview committee expects a personal philosophy, educational insights, or reams of experience trotted out impressively.

Imagine if they were told “I am 5’7”, weigh 16 stone, have brown eyes, black hair and suffer from flatulence when anxious”.

Noblesse Oblige

Principals and senior executive leaders write website welcome pages because someone says they have to.

Pointing out that the senior leader has no training or expertise in this form of writing cuts no ice in the face of poor writing.

Plunging into writing websites willingly, without experience or training, signals a degree of recklessness that ought to bar them from the task.

Laying out your stall

What should we expect to read instead of this set of statistics?

-       A description of how his multi-academy of 17 schools live as a cooperative Catholic faith community at the service of the Church’s educational mission. 

-       Show how success in this educational mission is the foundation of high-quality teaching and learning.

-       Explain that as part of the Church’s educational mission, his multi-academy company liaises with and works closely alongside the parish and community efforts. Together they bring the gospel message to answering the needs and opportunities of their particular locality.

-       Show he leads a learning and living community in which students and staff know, understand and value belonging to a Catholic Church community that is joyful and outward looking, where the growing young adults experience the practices, prayers and spiritual life of the Catholic Church and reach a point where they can make a sound choice about their personal faith allegiance.

How much of that is listed in his statistics?

The scattered seeds

To be fair there are several references in the welcome page to Catholic-things and phrases about religion-things and Catholic-curriculum-things.

These links are followed quickly by a dive into the more familiar briar patch of education jargon to do with “going beyond the academics”, “thinking as individuals”, “inclusive spaces”, “lifelong learning” and “children of all faiths and none”.

The jargon, lack of coherence and absence of logical links between the points leaves the reader wondering what the writer hoped to achieve.

But more of that another day.

Back to the start

There are words of hope for writers of school websites.

Words like - Seek help.

That will not be our last word on the matter.

As a first word, it is as good a word as you will get.

(c) Ted Dunphy

6.12.2023